Loss

What does the loss of a person mean? I have often thought that does loss only come about when a person dies and only photographs and memories remain in our lives. The dead are grieved and remembered, sometimes with regret, sometimes charitably, it is more often than not the good memories that we keep with us as move on with our lives.

But can one also face loss while a person lives., Can one grow so apart that it’s as good as losing one forever? It’s a strange thing but distance across miles is far far less potent than the distance that grows between hearts. Which makes me wonder can you grow so distant that the two don’t see eye to eye and move on. Can a friend lose another ? Do bridges that burn ever mend themselves? Can any amount of communication help fill the void that grows between people, who were once so connected.

Is this loss grieved the same way as death ? Does one keep the good memories and erase the bad ones, knowing that person lives on?

Is there any ideal way- should the distancing be slow and organic , or is it best ripped off.

Do you ever grow back into healing the hurt? Do you ever go back to trusting and being vulnerable ? Do you ever lose the expectations or is it a cycle to be repeated ad infintum?

I suppose there are just questions.

Candy

Backstory- I spotted an old familiar candy on the super market aisle, and a whole brain- tumble ensued thereafter.

Candy and nostalgia must go hand in hand, such is the nature of the two. Just a chance sighting of one such candy from my childhood opened the floodgates of memories, and I found myself reminiscing of stuff, that even I did not know I cared about.

When I saw the only too familiar red candy in the aisle, my instinct was to grab it and much before I knew, I was gushing about it. “I didn’t know they still made it”I quipped as soon as I touched it. Soon after I found myself reciting the TV ad jingle, of which I still had vivid memories. I recalled a TV ad of the 90s with youngsters sliding into cola fountains. Normally such reminiscing alone is sufficient to send me down the rabbit hole of YouTube ads from the two decades ago. But just this one time, I lingered on with the cola flavored candy in my hand.

Back in the 90s where liberalization had only just begun and there were just some home-grown brands of candy, one had to see a kid’s face to see much candy meant, and it was probably directly related to how little we had. There’s a certain joy that only small things and small things alone can bring.

For kids its isn’t just sugar that makes candy sweet, it brings back the bitter-sweet memories of childhood, the thrill of relishing candy after you broke open one of your gullaks, hiding it from your prying cousins, or even better the accomplishment of finishing it long after your sibling had chewed and gulped her candy.

I recall waiting for it when promised by my indulging grand parent and partner in candy crime. It was the thrill more than the treat itself,

Cut to the present moment when I picked up the candy and with great eagerness popped one in my mouth, the first taste was the ever so slight sweetness which very quickly metamorphosed into a sickly-sweet sugary taste, making me wonder why I even liked it in the first place. Perhaps candy was just means to confirm a bias that I possibly knew all along – nostalgia makes everything sweeter.

P.S. The candy in question was Rola Cola by Parle.

Of new beginnings

What does a new beginning mean ?

A cliche, a much romanticised idea, a clean break from the past.

Not too far are fear, anxiety, trepidation, what lies beyond and what not.

To me, new beginnings are good for priorities, for new decisions and more often than not a clean break.

Why does a break with the past look so appealing? A chance to let go, a clean break might never be possible, but in a way loosening the grip of the past along with the hope of a better future is a promise we all always look forward to.

So anytime a moment of flux comes about, it has within it the beginnings of a clean break. It is important to remember that flux can be good, a moment of unsettling brings about a shuffle till it resettles. The same cycle repeats in eternity.